He’s watching me
the gorilla
lying on his side
eyes open wide
he’s still
too still
Languid and indolent
his long strong arm moves
to itch the occasional itch
I hear him crying inside
despair has taken hold of his body
wrapping itself around his majesty
like a cage of thorns
an inner cage
to contain the flood of impotent rage
which if released
would crash through the sweet chambers of his being
and carry him away in pieces
All of his instinct and strength bottled
to quench the thirst for visitor selfies
A click
our ten second itch
and he’s captured all over again
saved in digital memory for some notional future
to shore up the panic
of our dislocation
from nature
There’s a howl in me
my creature heart rattles in its cage
pounding the bars
crying out
NO
not in my name
not for me
On either side of the cage we are both inmates
victims of a terrible deceit
a lie which tells me that I am noble and free
whilst he is beast and captive
Yet we are bound he and I – bound together
for we have both been told that we are too much
too wild
too fierce
too sensitive
too much of bloody everything
too alive
we need to tone down
calm down
chill out
go with the flow
I imagine him taking me in his arms
and holding my head against his beautiful black chest
just holding me there
because I sense he knows what I barely dare to admit
that my heart is breaking
every day my light seems dimmer
and the way out further away
Against his chest I would remember
that we are not the mad ones
not too much of anything
we are the great souls
in a world which cannot see the cage